On Open-Minded Korea

Korea? Open-mindedness? Those of you who live here may think I'm making a joke here, but I'd like to invite you to open your mind to this perspective.

Since moving to Korea, I've had multiple opportunities to be told I am crazy, irresponsible, or out of control; to be laughed at, ridiculed, re-educated (in the proper way!), or outright shunned. I won't go into the personal details of most of these occasions but on most of them just what you expected had happened. Someone called me crazy, taught me a lesson, or laughed at me.

More recently though, I've taken note of a change. Or, more precisely, a change occurred without me really noticing at all. Lately, I have had more of these chances to be called a whack-a-doo, but have been met with very different results than what I (and you, c'mon, be real) expected. I have in fact been told what I'm doing is understandable, acceptable, even cool, interesting!

Some sort of shift towards greater acceptance, openness has begun slowly grinding it's gears in Korea over the past 8-10 years as it did in the US during the 60's. I see fewer and fewer married by age 25 housewives of the 90's (equivalent to 50's American gals) and more unwed 30-something ladies pleased as peaches to live independently. Men eager to woo a woman, start a family, and father heirs have given way to those who move away from the parents, start their career, and find their priorities lie in a more solo vein. This is just the beginning of the changes I've marked. Along with freedom from familial obligations, a new-found desire for education, independent financial strength, and sexual liberation.

It is this sexual revolution that is most outwardly visible in the culture. From explicit hip-hop blaring out of shop doors to pop stars appearing on cable TV wearing very suggestive clothing and young girls imitating them, anyone who's lived in Korea will tell you it's a curious thing: The seemingly open sexuality is juxtaposed with a prudish attitude towards actual sex and PDAs. Young couples (who often still live with their parents) feel forced to make out in secret, private places like singing rooms and DVD rooms, and rarely show affection beyond hand-holding in public.

Although this is still true, now that more youths are moving out of their parent's home, they create a private escape for themselves and whomever they wish to share it with. Even though it's still occurring under wraps, this setting would be more permanent and stable. I'd argue that unmarried couples would begin to feel more comfortable with their... extra-curricular activities. That's gotta have an impact on how young people think about sex and openness. I also can't help but think this has some tiny connection to the recent influx of us wild, no-limits foreigners. We're here to teach English or practice our business trade, but inevitably, we make an example of our culture and behavior.

Whether I'm responsible in some small way or not, I have to say these changes seem long overdue. Those of you who know me personally also know I'll welcome freedom from conservative pressures on young people any day!